Property

If the family home is in your ex-partner's name, it is essential to register your interest in the property even when married. This usually applies to women but not always and is a vital step in ensuring it is not sold or mortgaged without being told during the separation process. 

If you both own the home, you need to agree on who pays the mortgage. If the mortgage is in joint names, you are both liable for the whole loan. Failing to meet mortgage payments will result in growing debt problems due to the lender's late payment fees and legal costs. If one of you moves out, then maintaining payments is likely to be difficult, as the one who does will have their new costs to factor in. Even though you are no longer a "household" in this situation, you still need to work together to ensure you can both afford to keep up your respective obligations. 

So, for example, if the only way of doing this is to negotiate reduced payments on the mortgage, then this is something that the remaining partner should consider but ideally with the consent and agreement of the partner who has moved out. Longer-term, it may well be that, realistically, the only way of moving forward is to sell the home. 

Maintaining or gaining perspective on your respective financial situations and being realistic is often very difficult, given the factors that may have led to the relationship ending. In this respect, professional mediation can prove effective and helping parties reach conclusions much more quickly and with less bad feelings than may otherwise be the case.

Dividing up other finances

To divide up everything else, make a list of the things you and your ex-partner own, including:

• personal belongings, for example, furniture or jewellery

• cars

• money in bank accounts (joint accounts as well as your own)

• savings and investments

You don't have to list all your belongings. It might be quicker to include things over £500 or something you want to keep.

You'll also need to include any debts you have, like a bank overdraft, credit card debts or hire purchase agreement.

If your debts are shared, you'll both be responsible for the whole amount - not just your half. This means if your ex-partner stops paying the debt off after you separate, you'll have to settle the debt by yourself.

Even if you and your ex-partner are talking to each other, it's a good idea to make sure you have a plan for paying off your shared debts.

If you have joint accounts with your ex-partner 

You can continue to use a joint bank account with your ex-partner after separating, for example, if you're sharing childcare costs.

However, it's probably better to close the account and open separate ones to prevent disagreements about money. You'll both need to give your permission to close an account. If you don't close the account, your partner could access the funds or run up debts which will be your responsibility.

If your joint account is overdrawn, you should freeze it - you don't need your partner's permission to do this. This will stop you or your ex-partner from withdrawing money and building up more debt.

If you're worried that doing this will upset your ex-partner, you should first talk to an adviser at your nearest Citizens Advice.

Deciding who owns something 

There's no easy way to decide who owns something from a relationship. First, you'll need to sit down with your ex-partner and go through things one by one. Stuff owned from before the relationship is usually that persons, but things brought together or for each other - well, this can be complicated. 

Try to agree as much as you can. If you have to go to court to decide who gets to keep something, you could quickly end up spending more on solicitors' fees than the item is worth.

It can help to write on your list how much you think each item is worth. That way, if one of you wants to keep a more expensive item, the other person could take several smaller items of the same value.

 Decisions about furniture and white goods

If you're trying to put a value on things like furniture or white goods, it's a good idea to estimate their new value - rather than how much you could sell them for now.

A 10-year-old sofa that you shared with your ex-partner might only be worth £100, but the cost of replacing it if you have to move into a new home would be a lot more.

Joint debts

Join loans or agreements are taken out based on "joint and several liabilities", meaning you are both liable for the whole debt. For example, if you have a credit card with a secondary account for your ex-partner, the account holder is responsible for all debts on the card. If this is you, you can either ask your partner to return the card or contact the card company to get it blocked or remove them from your account. Joint savings accounts should be split equally if you are married.

Child maintenance costs 

You are both expected to contribute towards the costs of any children after separation. Usually, this means one person pays the other.

You can agree on the amount based on established rules or get the Child Maintenance Service to calculate the amount.

Legal fees

Before divorcing, most couples try three or four mediation sessions which cost around £100 per session.

If you are getting divorced, you pay the court fees for filing your petition, which includes the fee for applying for a Decree Absolute, the order for the divorce. Even if you don't use a solicitor and do it yourself, this fee still applies.

Other fees that could apply include:

• a court fee for filing for judicial separation

• application for a consent order

• application fee for a financial order

If you use a solicitor, you pay their legal fees. This can be done for a fixed fee in straightforward cases or you at an hourly rate if the divorce is more complex.

Typical total legal costs range from £2,000 to £3,000 for a negotiated financial settlement, up to £30,000 for a negotiated financial settlement that requires a contested final court hearing.

The more complicated your divorce proceedings are, the higher the legal fees are likely to be. However, some lawyers will let you pay their fee when your divorce is finalised, and you have received your financial settlement.

You can also explore the option to divorce online. Total costs are around £400 if managed by a solicitor or between £40 and £200 if you do it yourself. You will also need to pay the court fees.

You can't get legal aid for the cost of divorce unless there is evidence of domestic violence or child abduction, but you might get legal aid to help pay mediation costs.

What next?

The Money Advice Service provides lots of helpful information on this complex subject, including a divorce and money calculator.